A Sleepless Sinner

For many years,I couldn't sound sleep.Every night I would feel myself wondering about many things without target at sleeping time.But,I've heard of a wisdom which was said----Saints are those who cannot fall into sleep.
I've known those who never care about moral would never sleepless,but those who truly confess will absolutely hard to sleep.I have a sensitive and conscious mind,and for many days I've seen my soul and mind lost each other ,I could feel ,because of confession ,I 'm watching myself arguing for good or evil in my life history so deep that I couldn't feel safety for close relationship ,no matter in family or society.I've talked to God---I've repent and confessed could I feel supirior than sin?God didn't answer ,and I was jailed in the Purgatorio as what Dante showed in the Divine Comedy.
Many days ,I've searched for philosophy and art ,trying to find out how to break through this trial,but I could feel the Mother Nature was calling me,and how much I dream to be a bird!
And how strong I could feel the harmony of mind and soul is when someone making friend with nature.Not only harmless but also considered about all the creature.