Last Lark in Heaven

Many times ,I asked myself,What am I pursuing?And what I found is disordered ideas and forms.This world hadn't known me,and now it deserted me,for I don't know my character in this world,how could it know me first?

Crossing this river I will reach home,a place I have forgotten for many years.The  Autumn is still poetic like long time before.Long ago when Mr. Winegartner was living,and I was his favorite child in the class.He would watch me writing like I watching my puppies running ,the same adorable sight.And I would ask him "Father how long should my composition be?"He told me" As long as a love story would be."And I asked him again with curiosity "But what is love?"

When I reached my home town,kids stared at me with questions.I hadn't known how do I look like,but seems like people had already forgot how did I playing the piano in the church as a student,and I dared not to ask how was my choir and klavier.But the church was still there with a golden dome and Holy Cross.My house had deserted beside the church yard.Which was surrounded by apple trees and bushes .I lived in this house,
till my nanny told me "My young master,your parents had a accident,they were dead on their way to Africa!"
I was only six ,and I said"Then I will never be to Africa!Never again!"I didn't cry,why should I cry if my parents had always travel without attention for my education?After that, Father Winegartner adopt me,and he was very old and kind.I must learn how to write and think,but mainly,I study composition with him.He was a quiet man,when he wrote ,his hand would shiver.I was so enthusiastic when I represented my words to him.
Every time ,he told me "This is not good enough!You will improve!"And I said"How long must I wait to be a
artist?"And he had always smiled said,"As long as a love story would be!"

And,where is my love story?In these few years?Just like a spell in life,I traveled from one place to another.
And it was after my Father Winegartner left the world.No woman stay my heart,but I like them all.I couldn't have passion for romance,and I liked to be along.Some people said I am a priest but very free.Maybe this is just what I live for!

My house was covered by weed and dust.When I walked inside there was birds' nest and spider's web.I found out many old photos,some were my parents' wedding photos and many were my first baptize.And my mother was so charming and lovely,why does she leave me?

I walked to the church yard ,and sat under the apple trees,the breezing wind told me this season would be a plentiful harvest,and I was so tired.

I heard a voice,a girl was singing,with a tune I've never heard.I opened my eyes and searched for her .I saw a young lady was picking berries.She dressed in light blue looked at me with surprise .
"Who are you stranger?"
"I lived here,I mean ,very long time ago!"
"I live here,too ,till now!"
"Could you tell me what were you singing?"
"I don't know,I invent it!"
"Have you ever learn music?"
"Why should I,I belong to the choir !"
"The choir in church!I did ,too!When I was a student!"
"And you are living in this deserted house,all along?"
"I am not so certain about my future,about where should I stay......"
"Do you come back to church?"
"Why should I?I......"
"What are you searching for?"
"Nothing......I only want to know .....How long should my composition be....?"
"As long as you live and love!"
I smiled to her and she hold my hand said
"My brother,Come back to us!"

On that Sunday,the sky was so clear,seems like I could reach heaven.When I walked into the church,I saw her leading the children singing.And she dressed in Sister's uniform.When the choir sang,it was a song I was familiar with,it was what Winegartner composed when I was his child.

I sang out loud with them,and I could see she was the last lark in heaven!